Ho ho ho … Santa Claus is ready to deliver car related gifts to well behaved motorists. But first things first. Christmas lovers must choose their toys from either the 'Top Five Tremendous Presents' list or the 'Top Five Pleasingly Eccentric' list. These have been created by the elves so let us consider the options. Number five on the Tremendous List is the Totcars Ferrari F1 12v Electric. This has red paint, wing mirrors, and forward and reverse modes. Top speed is 5mph but it can be limited to 3mph. This run-around measures 147cm by 44cm so it best suits those aged six and under. Dad will have to buy a bigger one, then. It also comes with an M.O.T Certificate and a Totcars Driver's License. All for £420 from the manufacturer. What a great gift … assuming it fits through chimneys.
Fourth on the Tremendous List is the Audi Golf Stand Bag (Part 3260800200). This is the perfect present for fathers who cannot fit in the Totcars Ferrari F1. This storage solution has space for a full set of bats (sorry clubs), a seven-part divider, an umbrella holder, and a rain cover. All for £229.99 from Audi. After losing golf Dad will probably drown his sorrows at the nineteenth. He can then - before driving home – check he is 100% sober via the AlcoSCAN AL7000 Pro Breathalyser which finishes third on the countdown. From £94.50 courtesy of Breathalyser Direct, this warms-up in less than thirty seconds and has a three decimal point readout. It also has a fast mode that shows low, medium, or high levels of alcohol. Santa has something similar so he is never 'drunk in charge of reindeer'.
Second on the elves' Tremendous List is the MSV Driving Gifts Young Drive Voucher. This enables eleven to seventeen year old monsters – sorry children – who stand at least 4.8” to drive a duel-controlled MINI 1.6-litre Diesel. But not on the road or at the North Pole, of course. Youngsters, in fact, cruise around either Brands Hatch, Oulton Park, or the Bedford Autodrome accompanied by an instructor. All from £79. That brings us to position one of the list where we find the PARROT MKi9200 Bluetooth Kit. This includes a 2.4” colour screen, microphones, and a wireless remote control. The system connects to Bluetooth devices such as mobile phones and MP3 players. Motorists can then receive phone calls and stream music trough their vehicles' speakers. It can also synchronise its contacts with mobile phones, has voice recognition, and pleasingly crisp sound quality. Expect to pay about £145 at Halfords. Best then use it to thank Santa Claus for your gifts.
That brings us to the Pleasingly Eccentric Top Five. Everything here – Santa's little helpers stress - is in 'the best possible taste'. As such, pink tax disc holders and coordinating bright pink fluffy dice take fifth position in the countdown. The dice bounce around on rear view mirrors to add a touch of class to even the tackiest old bangers. High heeled snow grips (really I hear you ask!) in position four, why on earth would you be wearing high heeled shoes in the snow!. In third spot we find personalised seatbelt cushions featuring the names of the owners. Perfect for the forgetful. Santa can also shoehorn brightly coloured car pedal covers down chimneys. Some of these have flame effects which, of course, scream elegance. Finally, motorists can have car eyelashes. These sit above the headlights to make vehicles look ... smart? Sounds like the perfect choice for tough east-end gangsters.